If you attend cons with cosplayers, then you may have heard about the golden rule. However, some of you are probably wondering what is the golden rule of cosplay? To put it simply, the golden rule is that cosplay is not consent. But what exactly does that mean? Why is this a thing? Let’s talk about it.
When someone says cosplay isn’t consent it means two things really. The first thing it means is you can’t just take pictures of someone in cosplay. If you see someone in cosplay that doesn’t mean you are granted permission to take pictures of them freely. Proper etiquette would be to ask first before getting those snaps. It also means we don’t consent to being touched or grabbed in any capacity. If you want a hug or to get close for a picture with us you need to ask first. You shouldn’t just touch people without consent no matter what so a person in cosplay doesn’t mean you get a free pass to do it.
This golden rule exists as just proper etiquette for how to treat cosplayers when you see them. A person in cosplay should be treated with respect just like any other person. It also helps protect our cosplay from getting damaged. Grabbing at us could cause something fragile to break. There’s a few things to keep in mind when you see a cosplayer besides just the golden rule though.
What not to say to a cosplayer?
It’s important to also refrain from saying disrespectful things to cosplayers. There’s a few phrases cosplayers unfortunately hear a lot and just isn’t very appropriate to say.
- You’re better than X cosplayer or X cosplayer is better than you – Not everyone looks to compete in cosplaying. Comparing and downplaying cosplayers like this is honestly just mean to do.
- But you don’t look like X character (not the right gender, skin tone, body shape, etc) – Cosplay isn’t just about becoming some character look a like. We add our own flair to it because it’s an art form. A cosplayer thus doesn’t have to look exactly like a character to be able to cosplay them.
- Unwanted suggestions, critiques or your cosplay is wrong – Like I said, not everyone is looking to compete and not everyone is looking for feedback on their cosplays. We work really hard on them and we may already be aware of what we could do better. Just try to enjoy the cosplay instead of giving unwanted suggestions or critiques.
- Asking to borrow or buy their cosplay – If we’re wearing it then you can safely assume that specific cosplay is not for sale and we typically don’t just loan them out so maybe don’t do this please. You could instead ask if they take commissions to make one for you though!
- Isn’t dressing up for kids not adults – Cosplay is for everyone so lets not gatekeep it from different age groups.
What not to do to a cosplayer?
Just like there’s things not to say to cosplayers, there’s things not to do as well. You want to not do things that are disrespectful to them as a person. Such things include:
- Quizzing them on the fandom – If we cosplay the character we don’t need to prove to you how much we know about them. Quizzing someone on the character is rude and kind of degrading to do. Just assume we know what we need to about the character if we’ve chosen to cosplay them.
- Gatekeeping the fandom – If you assume a cosplayer isn’t “apart of the fandom enough” to cosplay x character then you’re just gatekeeping that fandom. What’s the fun in that when you can let them be apart of it and assume they already are.
- Harassing them while they’re eating or trying to use the restroom – Cosplayers are still humans so we stop for breaks as we need them. So when you see a cosplayer at the restroom or shoveling food in their mouth, maybe wait till we’re done before asking them for pictures and such.
How do you interact with cosplayers?
So we talked about what not to do or say to cosplays. How do you interact with them in a way that is respectful? It’s actually pretty easy. Just treat them like a person and give them that basic level of respect you would to someone not in cosplay. This could be doing or saying things like:
- Ask for pictures or to interact
- Compliment their cosplay and tell them what you like
- Ask them about their cosplay and how they got it together
- Let us eat and break in peace
- Ask about our social media
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